All Ears, Always!

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. Listening is by far the simplest process a human body undergoes. And still we have not yet explored it, forget mastering. What is even more disgusting is that we are least bothered. While I attempt to bother, I want you to be all ears.

Ear is a radar that picks up frequencies created by any kind of sound and sends them to the brain. This is hearing. Hearing is an effect (of some sound or noise), while listening is an effort. Hearing is just a happening, while listening is a liking. Many of us have only heard and never listened in our lives. Listening is an effort to receive all that comes to the ears in the form of speech or sound and understand it as well as if you have spoken it. A good listener tries to understand what is being said. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he must know what exactly he disagrees with. Listening is a more involving and evolved process of human consciousness. So the first thing to do is to stop hearing and start listening.

“Knowledge speaks and Wisdom listens”

A thought or two about speaking. “To speak and to talk are two different things. A fool may talk but an intelligent man speaks, said Ben Jonson, the only rightful competitor of William Shakespeare. And when a knowledgeable man speaks only wise man has the ears, heart and wisdom to listen. The wisdom he possesses is not because he is wise, but because he listens. Out of the 5 senses, listening uses the least amount of energy. Perhaps that’s why sound (alarm) is used to wake up from sleep. Listening is a very sensitive process. It has a few variants. Here are some of them.

You don’t just listen to sound outside you. You can listen to your own voice. Try speaking your name, and it sounds like the crescendo of a concert. Try listening to your thoughts, they sound even louder clearer because they are even closer to the brain. Try listening to the feelings of pain, relief, desire, joy, surprise etc. Each of this has a distinct sound associated with it. I would even go to the extent of saying that everything in this world is sound or has sound or makes sound. All you need is a set of ears that can catch, convey and comprehend these sound waves.

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” Robert McCloskey.

The one factor that will make you a genius listener is patience. There is no barter for patience. The second equally important intention is to get the message right, exact in every sense of the word of the speaker. Then you need is a positive body language make the speaker feel confident that he is making sense to you. This will help him to convey his idea better, so the eventually beneficiary is you, the avid listener.

So following are the thumb rules:

1. Listen to the speaker, not to what you will say in return.
2. Listen as if you are listening to the cancellation of your death sentence.
3. When you speak, make sure that you have finished speaking before the audience has finished listening.
4. Interrupt only when, the speaker wants it.
5. Remember, your ears will never get you in trouble.

So as you start to resolve to be a better listener. Let’s sign off with not so famous lines of a very famous listener:

“If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut.” Albert Einstein.